Mamá Lela

Manuela Gonzalez Rey

Mama Lela was born in the Gazcue area of Santo Domingo. Her parents came from the Canary Islands though. She married my grandfather 20 years her senior. She was an absolutely beautiful woman. Her parents were Gregorio Gonzalez and Isabel Ana Rey. I must add that until my father’s generation, Canarians in the Dominican Republic, married other Canarians. They did not mix with the population. My father’s generation was a first on both sides of the family. And boy, did they break that rule! When I did his DNA he only has Portuguese and Spanish DNA. Nothing more. Where my mother has everything under the sun. I can’t imagine what those old Canarians thought about that. The end of the world!

From what I remember she was a very austere person. She didn’t use make up, didn’t like people (like my mother) that dressed up and showed off jewelry and such. She never wore any jewelry, no earrings, nothing. Never had her ears pierced. Very un-dominican. Always had very simple cotton clothing. Nothing stood out.

Mama Lela had 5 children, my uncle Marino and “Laito” (Wenceslao), my father “Bebeto” (Rafael Alberto), and a pair of twins that she lost at birth a few years after my father. The day that the USA invaded the island in 1916 she thought that they were killing her husband because he was the head of the port and she could hear the cannons. The fear made her have a miscarriage.

She also picked up two children (Ortiz and Pinpín) that my grandfather had out of wedlock. She would have picked up more if she had know about them. He left children everywhere. My dad claimed they were all over the world. 🙂 In fact, around 1970 or so, someone came to the gate of our house and I went to see who it was. I greeted the guy, who looked just like my father, by the way, and he asked if my father was in. He wasn’t. I asked him if he wanted to leave him a message and he gave me a little card with a phone number. He was my father’s brother and wanted to meet him. Unfortunately, I don’t think my father ever made contact. That wasn’t something he would have done. But, how extraordinary to have a brother just show up.

She had a very tough life being married to a Sea Captain who was gone most of the time, a gambler and womanizer, so she had a rough time. My grandfather came from a very wealthy family which didn’t want him to marry my grandmother because she was of humble background. But she was a Canarian and they only married other Canarians. The irony is that he gambled and drank all the money and it was she and her family that helped take care of him and one of his brothers because they didn’t have anyone else. I got to meet most of my grandfather’s brothers and sister.

At around 30, she developed Asthma and had a terrible time with it. In those days there wasn’t any medication for it. It was a very rough thing for a woman on her own with children and being sick like that. My father said it was an issue when he was a kid. He hated seeing his mother sick like that. And then, my brother was born with it also. It had had to be so hard for him.

There were some very hard times too. She left my grandfather a few times and moved to San Cristobal. They always ended up back together again. In San Cristobal she was a neighbor of Trujillo’s mother and were always very good friends. She was actually very poor early on and her husband a womanizer also so they had a lot in common. My grandmother helped her when she could.

I found out that Mama Lela forced tío Marino to wed tía Rosa Villaba because she was pregnant with Isabelita. He was never that great a husband to her, that I know of. (I believe he was much better to his second family later.) I remember that Sundays, if we went to their house, he was all decked out in a white suit with a white hat and ready to go. I didn’t know when I was little but later found out he would go out drinking and womanizing and tía Rosa had to put up with it all her life. He was a bit abusive at home also.

Mama Lela died at the age of 73 when I was 5 from asthma complications. I have few memories of her. I remember going to visit her at my uncle’s house, but I don’t remember her there. I do remember her coming to visit us at our house a few months before she died. She just sat on a rocking chair most of the time but she didn’t really interact with us kids. Maybe by then she wasn’t feeling too good.

In 2022, I spoke with Isabelita Arvelo Villalba and she told me that Mama Lela was really sweet to her and practically raised her. That they got along really well and she adored her. I am so glad she had that relationship with her.

That wasn’t my experience. Maybe because she didn’t like my mother, she was very reserved when she would come over for the day and to eat with us. This didn’t happen very often either. I actually, only remember a couple of times that she came to visit when I was little. One of the times I was really upset because I was around 3 and my mom was teaching me how to sew. My grandmother came in and had a fit that that was so dangerous and I could poke my eyes out or something like that. She had no clue at how dexterous I already was and would be the rest of my life. I still went behind their backs after that and taught myself how to sew. By the time my mother noticed, and taught me some more, I already had it down. By the time I was 5 I could do buttonholes, several different sewing stitches (hand sewing), embroidery, and crochet. Not bad for a little girl from Arroyo Hondo. But, my grandmother had a fit that day and it was recorded in my brain forever.

I remember my grandmother’s blue car. My father and uncle Marino bought it for her and had a chauffeur to take her to the doctor, etc. My uncle’s house was always a disaster and even though I was very young, I understood this. The bathrooms were not as clean as ours. I remember it perfectly. I do remember going in Mamá Lela’s room and seeing that she had something that she would burn (looked like incense) that was good for her asthma. Everything around her in my uncle’s house felt very sad. At least, that’s how I remember it.

We also had an outing of the whole family to Boca Chica and Mamá Lela actually went with us. There was a little zoo on the island that a Canadian friend of my parents, Mr. Rogers, had done in the Matica Island. it was magical for a little kid like me. There were northern deer, parrots, snakes, birds, caiman, a few monkeys, a couple of chimps, and much more. I remember the smell and the feel of the place. Pico and I walked the entire island and saw all the animals. It was like we had died and gone to heaven. I still remember that he had some of the last Dominican doves that eventually went extinct due to over hunting. Unfortunately, there was a hurricane a few months later and the zoo was completely destroyed. I don’t remember if she enjoyed it. I was having way too much fun to notice at 4 or 5 years old. I hope she did because it was a magical place.

I wish I had a lot more about her. If I find anything else I will try to add it.